"Youre t boy Ive ever kissed," so me.
It anding at teamer Pier in Pine Knoll So get to cross t spans tracoastal atertle he island.
No expensive beac property in tire state, but back t led against time National Forest.
"I figured I mig; I said.
"; sly. "Did I do it ; S look like soo upset if Id said yes, but it ruth.
"Youre a great kisser," I said, giving her hand a squeeze.
Suroting t far-off look again. S a lot lately. I let it go on for a to me.
"Are you okay, Jamie?" I finally asked.
Instead of answering, s.
"; she asked me.
I ran my ;You mean before now?”
I said it like James Dean o say it if a girl ever asked me t question. Eric ty slick h girls.
"Im serious, Landon," sossing me a sidelong glance.
I guess Jamie oo. ito realize, I alo be going from o loo ime t takes to s a mosquito. I quite sure if I liked t part of our relations, to be , it kept me on my toes. I ill feeling off balance as I t about ion.
"Actually, I ; I said finally.
ill fixed on t I alking about Angela, but looking back, Id realized t fela otally different from now.
" ; she asked me.
I cly moving it ime to pretend I I actually .
"ell," I said seriously, "you knos love o do is spend time of kno the same way.”
Jamie t about my ansly.
"I see," sly. I ed for o add somet s, and I came to anotion.
Jamie may not experieo tell you truth, she laying me like a harp.
During t tance, she wore her hair in a bun again.
On Neook Jamie out to dinner. It real date s to a small erfroaurant in Morey, a place called Flauvins. Flauvins aurant ableclot pieces of silverting. ters lers, and pletely lic refleg off ter.
t and a sioo, not every nig on to make reservations, and t time I called t I t didnt to make my grandfatill alive and all.
It ually my moms idea to take Jamie out someplace special. A couple of days before, on one of talked to my mom about through.
"S, Mom," I fessed. "I mean, I kno know if s I do.”
"Does s muco you?" she asked.
"Yes," I said quietly.
"ell, w ried so far?”
" do you mean?”
My mom smiled. "I mean t young girls, even Jamie, like to be made to feel special.”
I t about t for a moment, a little fused. asnt t rying to do?
"ell, Ive been going to o visit," I said.
My mom put a great imes stuck it to me, like I said earlier, s lady.
"Going to o do, but its not t romantic t her.”
My mom suggested buying some perfume, and t Jamie , it didnt sound rigo me. For o didnt alloion being tmas play-I old my mom as muc aking to dinner.
"I dont ," I said to edly. t too quickly. "It builds responsibility," my fat once.
" o your money in the bank?”
I sig in silence isfa crossed oo, knew I was finally growing up.
"Let me t," sly. "You just find out if so go and if Reverend Sullivan . If so make it happen. I promise.”
t to t because I figured sed to be t o do t exactly been ed. it- tains, t I seen ake a long time for o anso e from t.
me for a long moment, then sigh deeply and shake his head before finally saying hello.
ially open, and I saing beacles propped on financial-and I figured rying to figure out t for ters o pay.
I k terest, as if ed anotion, t it was me.
"; I said politely. "Do you ?”
ired t feeling well.
"; he said wearily.
Id dressed s and tie. "May I e in?”
ly, and I eioned for me to sit in the chair across from his desk.
" I do for you?" he asked.
I adjusted myself nervously in t;ell, sir, I ed to ask you something.”
ared at me, studying me before ;Does it o do ; he asked.
I took a deep breath.
"Yes, sir. I ed to ask if it would be all rigook o dinner on New Years Eve.”
;Is t all?" he said.
"Yes, sir," I said. "Ill bring ime youd need me to.”
ook off acles and ting tell aking a moment to t it.
"ill your parents be joining you?" he asked.
"No, sir.”
"t t t." t clear it ime for me to leave. I stood from my carted to to go, I faced him again.
"Reverend Sullivan?”
ill t;Im sorry for to do alreat Jamie treated. But from no.”
o l enough.
"I love ; I said finally, aion focused on me again.
"I kno; ;but I dont to see ." Even t , I t I saer.
"I do t to ; I said.
urned from me and looked out tcer sun tried to force its ter.
"en," he wrong decision.
I smiled ao t. I could tell t ed to be aloo see his fa his hands.
I asked Jamie a t s t I told Id already spoken to o. t tell it looked almost as t t only didnt I uand it pletely, I didnt o alking to my mom again, sion, and to be , it made perfect seo me. must o tion t er o me. In a rue.
I picked on sc asked o ly erfront to taurant. to tess stand, to our table. It ter ones in the place.
It ime eenagers in t too out of place, though.
Jamie o Flauvins before, and it took a fees to take it all in. S a my mom suggestion.
"t; so me. "thank you for asking me.”
"My pleasure," I said sincerely.
"have you been here before?”
"A feimes. My moto e imes won.”
S tared at a boat t aurant, its lig s in ;Its beautiful ; she said.
"So are you," I answered.
Jamie blus;You do.”
"Yes," I said quietly, "I do.”
e ed for dinner, and Jamie and I talked about some of t fealked about tted t place. S about it-s of laug off c s out on her own.
"ould you to take me again?" seased.
"Absolutely.”
Dinner er finally removed our plates, tarted up. e before I o take her home, and I offered her my hand.
At first c eac remioo. I could see tfully at us. ts and kno time t it .
I could be.
After young couples did back time to time sired and listless. e spent time doossing stones in ter, calked, or to t Ma.
Eve boter an o take imes, it seemed, s nod off before imes sream of cter all t I could barely get a word in edgewise.
Of course, spending time doing t go to udy class-I didnt to look like an idiot in front of t t more at o leave early, because s fever. Even to my untrained eyes, it her face was flushed.
e kissed again, too, t every time oget even trying to make it to sed base. t ao. tle and rig Jamie ood ire life, not only by me, but by everyone.
Jamie simply ters daug to een-year-old girl s t I least, ts il sold me.
Ill never fet t day because of s sometant was on her mind.
I ed up again, a day blustery ing er o stand close to eaco stay ed to go Id asked ime, I remember t t us. te no one else Cecils Diner. As al u on terfront in ter.
S as so tell me somet expect o start tion as she did.
"People trange, dont t; she silence.
"; I asked, even the answer.
"People at school.”
"No, t," I lied.
I kissed tle tigo me. Sell t Id her somehow.
"Are you okay?" I asked, ed.
"Im fine," s on track.
"ill you do me a favor, though?”
"Anyt; I said.
"ill you promise to tell me truth from now on? I mean always?”
"Sure," I said.
Sopped me suddenly and looked rig me. "Are you lying to me right now?”
"No," I said defensively, from noell you truth.”
Some, I kne Id e tret it.
e started reet, I gla belo it mig t I even touchere.
"People trange, dont t; she asked again.
My breat in little puffs.
"Yes," I finally ans me to say it.
"; S despo.
I t about it. "People reasons," I said vaguely, doing my best not to go any further.
"But because of my fat because I try to be o people?”
I didnt anyto do his.
"I suppose," a little queasy.
Jamie seemed disened, and tle farther in silence.
"Do ye, too?" she asked me.
t made me ac it at opped o me. I kissed , s the ground.
I put my finger being me again. "Youre a iful, youre kind, yentle . . . youre everyt Id like to be. If people dont like you, e, ts their problem.”
In ter day, I could see o tremble. Mine my I couldhe words inside any longer.
"I love you, Jamie," I said to ;Youre t t ever o me.”
It time Id ever said to anote family. to someone else, Id some it . Id never been more sure of anything.
As soon as I said tarted to cry, leaning o mine. I ime t my arms all t o my e. I sure o t t regret trutrut promised I would never lie again.
"Please dont say t," so me. "Please . . .”
"But I do," I said, t believe me.
So cry even ;Im sorry," so me t;Im so, so sorry. . . .”
My t suddenly dry.
"; I asked, suddenly desperate to uand ;Is it because of my friends and care anymore-I really dont." I was reag, fused and, yes-scared.
It took anot for o st, and in time s me. Sly, almost like ty street, then ran her finger over my cheek.
"You t be in love ; shrough red and swollen eyes.
"e be friends, love me.”
"?" I sed uanding any of this.
"Because," sly, "Im very sick, Landon.”
t ely fn t I couldnt pre srying to say.
"So ake a few days . . .”
A sad smile crossed t srying to tell me. mine as s numbed my soul.
"Im dying, Landon.”
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