Chapter Five (第2/2页)
. I knoalk to me as if s Briar for kindness sake—nor as if you came out of sness of temper! Your —as you call it—and er all: ters you art pumping waug.
Mrs Sucksby taugs of t w you are saying now.
Mrs Sucksby kept you too close, oo close. t, calling you slooo close, too long. too muc.
Go and fuck it, I said.
At t get up and me. But , and reaco grip tly,
Let me see you in your tantrums again and I one. Do you uand me? I o do you if I must. Sell o tend o put on your old stuff goo Lant Street hing?
I said,I sell Mr Lilly!
Do you to hear you?
tell Maud.
Go a tell it, t I ail , and cloven o act my crimes upon tage. No-one expects to meet a man like me in life, to believe you. S afford to believe you! For s marry me noay of ?
could I say? Sold me s. So I . But from t point on, I ted or t of Mauds slippers on tairs, and after a sed t bad of curtsey. quickly to o the fire.
You are cold, he said.
tood before tel, but I sa t me. teful head.
Oerribly stern today.
Maud looked up. s this? she said.
I shing. he said,
Poor Sue is easing her, while you were gone.
teasing her, how? she asked, half-smiling, half-frowning.
alking of not you! So . S at all. I told of gazing at you; sold me to o my room. I said my ears of your s voice; sed to call for Margaret t castor-oil to put in te s your kisses. Sold me to take it and— he paused.
And w? said Maud.
ell, put it in my pocket.
me, in a doubtful .
ed still s your kisses, he said.
Sated, took in ouc t t. Not t here.
urned and sated again, to it. It covered h, her nose, and half her face.
my eye, and nodded. I turned a look at him.
For , damn about Maud—for I kne, le and , about me. o t to make Mrs Sucksbys fortune. o o Mr Ibbs—and to Jo, let slip thousand pounds, because—
Because ? tain standing. I er of a murderess. I ations. Fine feelings in they be?
And t all up— save Maud? Say I leman in a mad say muco her ces.
But oo pure, too simple. So be spoiled.
Besides, nobodys co do badly, did t mean I must?
I didnt t did. So though, as I have said, I was sorry for her,
I quite sorry enougo to try and save of telling rutleman as t all, t and keep us from our fortune. I let le. I cry to make ime t to take rick ccc s of be a leman any man but t marry; and I ed it, but turned a, It t be , Its their business.
But, ried to give up to myself, So you, tried to pluck t of my , tayed t or e I uro over my ears to keep out in to o be able to feel gold. It my kno pulled me to was like—
Its like you love .
It made a c made me nervous and afraid. I t s me a—entleman , or Mrs Stiles. I imagined getting back to Lant Street, reac of Jo of done anyt. It I t of I felt o me, ogs: to keep of like to fold t. ook to going about t as I day at Briar—
and looking at all taken up and toucure. t. ould to dress o stand and, close to tudy my face as Id seen udying hers.
ten days to go, I o myself. ten days, and you will be rich!
But Id say it, and across t e t o t being so mud, trap t little bit closer and tig o prise apart.
Of course, s too. It made o s—made , lie in iffly, more ly, more like a little clock, for safetys sake; or else, to keep time from running on too fast. Id cake ea—pick up , put it do up and sip again, like a macitco turn my gaze. Id time I back ted tooto I could not imagine, noting a fio being ordinary . . .
So dream again. So . Once or tirring; and so my side and lay and simes s me, times sions. Am I real? Do you see me? Am I real?
Go back to sleep, I said, one nig he end.
Im afraid to, she said. Oh, Sue, Im afraid . . .
ime, at all t soft and clear, and so un . ttle rus t s lit must its sself out. tains of t struck my mouth.
" is it? I said.
She said, I dreamed— I dreamed I was married
I turned my my ear. too loud, it seemed, in the silence. I moved my head again. I said,
ell, you shall be married, soon, for real.
Shall I?
You know you so sleep.
But, s. I felt ill but very stiff. I felt ting of . At last she said again, in a whisper: Sue—
is it, miss?
S hink me good? she said.
S, as a c. turned again, and peered into to try and make out her face.
Good, miss? I said, as I squinted.
You do, she said unhappily.
Of course!
I wis. I wis. I wish— I wish I was wise.
I I did not say it. I said you hose books of your uncles?
S ans beat it lurc . then she spoke.
Sue, sell me—
tell me trut s to say; and my o like o s. I t, S t, thank God!
But it t. It t, at all. Sh
again, and again I felt o ask some a it , I t last, t from her.
I is a do, on !
I oo. It oo dark to see.
I said, Dont you know?
I knohing.
But you dont know w?
how should I?
But truly, miss: you mean, you dont know?
you see, dont you see? I am too ignorant even to kno is I am ignorant of! S eady. I t, unnatural voice, I t?
Again, I felt the word, kiss. Again, I blushed.
ill he? she said.
Yes, miss.
I felt h?
On your mouth, I should say.
On my mouted o last, teness of er t ougo burned out. I ime I ever did—t t. Only t have shrunk, or fallen away.
else, s me to do?
I t, Say it quick. Quick . Quid plain. But it h her.
, I said, after a moment, to embrace you.
ill. I t. She said,
You mean, to stand h me in his arms?
S, and I pictured once, ilemans grip. I saanding—as you do see men and girls, sometimes, at nig urn your eyes. I tried to turn my eyes, no, of course, could not, for to turn to, t, brigern slides.
I greful way,
to stand. Its rougand. You only stand o lie in or must be quick. A gentleman would embrace .
A bed, shis?
Pero so shape, when youve finished!
I laug t too loud. Maud flinco frown.
Finis? she embrace?
Finis, I said.
But do you mean, the embrace?
Finis. I tururned again. is! ?—Finis. I be plainer?
I talk instead of beds, of feat are to me? You talk of it. s it?
It is is tual tarts you off. t es over you, like—like ing to dao a time, to music. have you never—?
Never w?
Never mind, I said. I still moved, restlessly. You must not mind. It will be easy. Like dang is.
But dang is not easy, s be taugo dance. You taught me.
t.
?
ts of o dance. You only do to you, when once you have begun.
I felt t o me. I dont t kisses start me off. Mr Riverss kisses never ain necessary muscle or nerve—?
I said, Fods sake, miss. Are you a girl, or a surgeon? Of course your moutight, like a spring. I rose from my pillow. here are your lips? I said.
My lips? sone of surprise. they are here.
I found them, and kissed her.
I kne all rigy like kissing aste, first. t moved against mi opened. I felt ongue. I felt —
I , only to s I lay , starting up in me, everytart in leman kissed made me giddy. It made me blus made me drunk. I dre, from hers. I said, in a whisper,
Do you feel it?
to my tongue. S ansill I t suddenly, if Ive put rance? Say s? ever ell her uncle—?
ted a little. And then she spoke.
I feel it, srange as mine. You . Its sug thing. I never—
It s Mr Rivers, I said.
Does it?
I t must.
I dont kno know.
S sed again, and t brougo me. o mi . She said again, Im afraid.
Dont be frig once. For I k be t. Say s shtened she cried off marrying him?
ts . I t I must so do it, or . So, I kissed oucoug of our mout t ers of our lips—touco and s of turning solid and growing quick, under my hand.
So sill afraid. to soo. I fot to tleman, after t. I t only of ears, I kissed them away.
You pearl, I said. So we she was! You pearl, you pearl, you pearl.
It o say, in t o do. But m I rips of grey ligains of t I , My God. Maud lay, still sleeping, ogetoo, and I brougo touc. took t smelt of of t . Beic. Did cell you it es on you like a sneeze; but a sneeze is noto it, not all—
I s tip of one fio my to tasted sharp—like vinegar, like blood.
Like money.
I gre. I got up, not looking
at to my room. I began to feel ill. Perer seemed to sting. I ed. I sloo o fasten trings of dress. I ied t.
I sa, and my insides s wed o mine, I looked away.
I looked ao speak. Sc t s came, er: I stood pulling clot at t. Maud kept to left. I put out a goticoats and s out er.
ill you e, I said, so I may dress you?
Sood, and slooo hard.
I covered it up. S opped me. S ress, after all! But, so tood dorembling of my fingers against say. Only w finis co search for words. She said,
a t I?
You did, I said. My voice was shaking. No dreams.
No dreams, s t one. I t, Sue
S ing. I sa in . Mio matc, my very turned in my
breast; and I t if I o me t back; and everyt knoo keep e. e miged Gentleman. I migo Lant Street—
But if I did t, s for t of telling rutrembled do it. Soo simple. Soo good. If tain upon —! But t crimson bruise. A single kiss . he Bh?
And t my side?
I of Mrs Sucksby. Maud c t pin to of velvet. I swallowed, and said,
In your dream? I dont t me. I sepped to tte almost smoked already. You will miss !
e day. e . So take my arm, and I dreting do ty place beside her and said,
ts are gro you tter on your own . . .?
I bay narros ss like pieces of pastry. I urning, and sig; and I turned, and sig t t ugging, tugging at my —so me. A imes I almost rose, almost in to imes I t, Go to ing? Go back to every time, I t of lie beside ing to touc
ing to kiss ing to save her.
So, I did not nigoo, and t after t; and soon, ts: time, t , t oo late to g.
记住手机版网址：wap.966xs.com
. I knoalk to me as if s Briar for kindness sake—nor as if you came out of sness of temper! Your —as you call it—and er all: ters you art pumping waug.
Mrs Sucksby taugs of t w you are saying now.
Mrs Sucksby kept you too close, oo close. t, calling you slooo close, too long. too muc.
Go and fuck it, I said.
At t get up and me. But , and reaco grip tly,
Let me see you in your tantrums again and I one. Do you uand me? I o do you if I must. Sell o tend o put on your old stuff goo Lant Street hing?
I said,I sell Mr Lilly!
Do you to hear you?
tell Maud.
Go a tell it, t I ail , and cloven o act my crimes upon tage. No-one expects to meet a man like me in life, to believe you. S afford to believe you! For s marry me noay of ?
could I say? Sold me s. So I . But from t point on, I ted or t of Mauds slippers on tairs, and after a sed t bad of curtsey. quickly to o the fire.
You are cold, he said.
tood before tel, but I sa t me. teful head.
Oerribly stern today.
Maud looked up. s this? she said.
I shing. he said,
Poor Sue is easing her, while you were gone.
teasing her, how? she asked, half-smiling, half-frowning.
alking of not you! So . S at all. I told of gazing at you; sold me to o my room. I said my ears of your s voice; sed to call for Margaret t castor-oil to put in te s your kisses. Sold me to take it and— he paused.
And w? said Maud.
ell, put it in my pocket.
me, in a doubtful .
ed still s your kisses, he said.
Sated, took in ouc t t. Not t here.
urned and sated again, to it. It covered h, her nose, and half her face.
my eye, and nodded. I turned a look at him.
For , damn about Maud—for I kne, le and , about me. o t to make Mrs Sucksbys fortune. o o Mr Ibbs—and to Jo, let slip thousand pounds, because—
Because ? tain standing. I er of a murderess. I ations. Fine feelings in they be?
And t all up— save Maud? Say I leman in a mad say muco her ces.
But oo pure, too simple. So be spoiled.
Besides, nobodys co do badly, did t mean I must?
I didnt t did. So though, as I have said, I was sorry for her,
I quite sorry enougo to try and save of telling rutleman as t all, t and keep us from our fortune. I let le. I cry to make ime t to take rick ccc s of be a leman any man but t marry; and I ed it, but turned a, It t be , Its their business.
But, ried to give up to myself, So you, tried to pluck t of my , tayed t or e I uro over my ears to keep out in to o be able to feel gold. It my kno pulled me to was like—
Its like you love .
It made a c made me nervous and afraid. I t s me a—entleman , or Mrs Stiles. I imagined getting back to Lant Street, reac of Jo of done anyt. It I t of I felt o me, ogs: to keep of like to fold t. ook to going about t as I day at Briar—
and looking at all taken up and toucure. t. ould to dress o stand and, close to tudy my face as Id seen udying hers.
ten days to go, I o myself. ten days, and you will be rich!
But Id say it, and across t e t o t being so mud, trap t little bit closer and tig o prise apart.
Of course, s too. It made o s—made , lie in iffly, more ly, more like a little clock, for safetys sake; or else, to keep time from running on too fast. Id cake ea—pick up , put it do up and sip again, like a macitco turn my gaze. Id time I back ted tooto I could not imagine, noting a fio being ordinary . . .
So dream again. So . Once or tirring; and so my side and lay and simes s me, times sions. Am I real? Do you see me? Am I real?
Go back to sleep, I said, one nig he end.
Im afraid to, she said. Oh, Sue, Im afraid . . .
ime, at all t soft and clear, and so un . ttle rus t s lit must its sself out. tains of t struck my mouth.
" is it? I said.
She said, I dreamed— I dreamed I was married
I turned my my ear. too loud, it seemed, in the silence. I moved my head again. I said,
ell, you shall be married, soon, for real.
Shall I?
You know you so sleep.
But, s. I felt ill but very stiff. I felt ting of . At last she said again, in a whisper: Sue—
is it, miss?
S hink me good? she said.
S, as a c. turned again, and peered into to try and make out her face.
Good, miss? I said, as I squinted.
You do, she said unhappily.
Of course!
I wis. I wis. I wish— I wish I was wise.
I I did not say it. I said you hose books of your uncles?
S ans beat it lurc . then she spoke.
Sue, sell me—
tell me trut s to say; and my o like o s. I t, S t, thank God!
But it t. It t, at all. Sh
again, and again I felt o ask some a it , I t last, t from her.
I is a do, on !
I oo. It oo dark to see.
I said, Dont you know?
I knohing.
But you dont know w?
how should I?
But truly, miss: you mean, you dont know?
you see, dont you see? I am too ignorant even to kno is I am ignorant of! S eady. I t, unnatural voice, I t?
Again, I felt the word, kiss. Again, I blushed.
ill he? she said.
Yes, miss.
I felt h?
On your mouth, I should say.
On my mouted o last, teness of er t ougo burned out. I ime I ever did—t t. Only t have shrunk, or fallen away.
else, s me to do?
I t, Say it quick. Quick . Quid plain. But it h her.
, I said, after a moment, to embrace you.
ill. I t. She said,
You mean, to stand h me in his arms?
S, and I pictured once, ilemans grip. I saanding—as you do see men and girls, sometimes, at nig urn your eyes. I tried to turn my eyes, no, of course, could not, for to turn to, t, brigern slides.
I greful way,
to stand. Its rougand. You only stand o lie in or must be quick. A gentleman would embrace .
A bed, shis?
Pero so shape, when youve finished!
I laug t too loud. Maud flinco frown.
Finis? she embrace?
Finis, I said.
But do you mean, the embrace?
Finis. I tururned again. is! ?—Finis. I be plainer?
I talk instead of beds, of feat are to me? You talk of it. s it?
It is is tual tarts you off. t es over you, like—like ing to dao a time, to music. have you never—?
Never w?
Never mind, I said. I still moved, restlessly. You must not mind. It will be easy. Like dang is.
But dang is not easy, s be taugo dance. You taught me.
t.
?
ts of o dance. You only do to you, when once you have begun.
I felt t o me. I dont t kisses start me off. Mr Riverss kisses never ain necessary muscle or nerve—?
I said, Fods sake, miss. Are you a girl, or a surgeon? Of course your moutight, like a spring. I rose from my pillow. here are your lips? I said.
My lips? sone of surprise. they are here.
I found them, and kissed her.
I kne all rigy like kissing aste, first. t moved against mi opened. I felt ongue. I felt —
I , only to s I lay , starting up in me, everytart in leman kissed made me giddy. It made me blus made me drunk. I dre, from hers. I said, in a whisper,
Do you feel it?
to my tongue. S ansill I t suddenly, if Ive put rance? Say s? ever ell her uncle—?
ted a little. And then she spoke.
I feel it, srange as mine. You . Its sug thing. I never—
It s Mr Rivers, I said.
Does it?
I t must.
I dont kno know.
S sed again, and t brougo me. o mi . She said again, Im afraid.
Dont be frig once. For I k be t. Say s shtened she cried off marrying him?
ts . I t I must so do it, or . So, I kissed oucoug of our mout t ers of our lips—touco and s of turning solid and growing quick, under my hand.
So sill afraid. to soo. I fot to tleman, after t. I t only of ears, I kissed them away.
You pearl, I said. So we she was! You pearl, you pearl, you pearl.
It o say, in t o do. But m I rips of grey ligains of t I , My God. Maud lay, still sleeping, ogetoo, and I brougo touc. took t smelt of of t . Beic. Did cell you it es on you like a sneeze; but a sneeze is noto it, not all—
I s tip of one fio my to tasted sharp—like vinegar, like blood.
Like money.
I gre. I got up, not looking
at to my room. I began to feel ill. Perer seemed to sting. I ed. I sloo o fasten trings of dress. I ied t.
I sa, and my insides s wed o mine, I looked away.
I looked ao speak. Sc t s came, er: I stood pulling clot at t. Maud kept to left. I put out a goticoats and s out er.
ill you e, I said, so I may dress you?
Sood, and slooo hard.
I covered it up. S opped me. S ress, after all! But, so tood dorembling of my fingers against say. Only w finis co search for words. She said,
a t I?
You did, I said. My voice was shaking. No dreams.
No dreams, s t one. I t, Sue
S ing. I sa in . Mio matc, my very turned in my
breast; and I t if I o me t back; and everyt knoo keep e. e miged Gentleman. I migo Lant Street—
But if I did t, s for t of telling rutrembled do it. Soo simple. Soo good. If tain upon —! But t crimson bruise. A single kiss . he Bh?
And t my side?
I of Mrs Sucksby. Maud c t pin to of velvet. I swallowed, and said,
In your dream? I dont t me. I sepped to tte almost smoked already. You will miss !
e day. e . So take my arm, and I dreting do ty place beside her and said,
ts are gro you tter on your own . . .?
I bay narros ss like pieces of pastry. I urning, and sig; and I turned, and sig t t ugging, tugging at my —so me. A imes I almost rose, almost in to imes I t, Go to ing? Go back to every time, I t of lie beside ing to touc
ing to kiss ing to save her.
So, I did not nigoo, and t after t; and soon, ts: time, t , t oo late to g.
记住手机版网址：wap.966xs.com