Chapter Eight (第2/2页)
I suppose must be a bitter sort of smile. I say, Your question means not. My uen t must be added to too many lost books to be rediscovered; too muty. rey will
debate it for ever. Look at tends, once begin its supplements.
You mean to keep beside time?—I ansed as he?
I last. My skills are fee unon.
You are a lady, ly, and young, and speak from gallantry no. I say only rue. You mighing.
You are a man, I ansrut from ladies. I may do nothing, I assure you.
ates—perc— marry, is something.
, I some parc so . . .
I until urned from me agaiion captured. ts stand aly lift its cover. Look e, t is attaco all ?
te bears rangely, to resemble a p em of briar at t. Mr Rivers tilts o study it, and nods. I let the cover close.
Sometimes, I say, not looking up, I suppose suce must be pasted upon my oed, and noted and so I am speaking coolly, still. You said, tood. e are not meant for on usage, my felloe from t unguarded eyes. t o he world—some rid handsomely provided for, some shabby, some
injured, some broken about t t; for t ots—otors, I mean—cast out. I it—
No speak coolly. I aken by my oco take my uncles book very gently from its stand.
Your o mien of your time t? ont you sures t mark it as rare . . .?
ly; and artled me, like to be startled. I dont like to lose my place. But noo t I ot at for. I discover at last t I my o my breast. t I am breat t are all at once de seems bleeding into t, is pale as a leaf upon a swelling pool of darkness.
I s, for tlemen. But I suppose I range, fazes my way, smiling, e falls. Miss Lilly! akes my hand.
Mr is it? t.
Mr Rivers nohe pages.
t tlemen, curtseying at my uncle, a look of terror on is not yet ten oclock. I am perfectly not trouble. I am only tired, suddenly. I am sorry.
Sorry? Poorey. It is , and overtask your nieiserably.
I al, and ake your mistresss arm. Go steadily, now.
Sairs? Mr ands in to mount t I do not catch his eye.
me for some cool to put upon my face. I finally go to tel, and lean my c the looking-glass.
Your skirts, miss! says Agnes. She fire.
I feel queer, dislocated. t c sounds, I ter. I t kno, ands aill gathered in her hands.
trikes. I step back, t beats a little smoots me in my bed, unlooses tains—no mig, any at all. I ening my ains I to be taken y as she slumbers.
, I unlock my little rait. I y eyes. I t study your face!—but, o, I kno do it or lie sleepless and grow ill. I look o her, he said, and feel her madness in you?
Do I?
I put trait a me a tumbler of er. I take a drop of my old medie—t t ake anotill, my back. My o tingle. Agands and s. doe stuff of dress. One slender collar-bone is marked a delicate blue is
per mig remember—be a bruise.
I feel t last, sour in my stomach.
ts all, I say. Go on.
I o s. ter a little time t groan of mag its gears. I lie and for sleep. It does not e. Instead, my limbs groless and begin to tcoo of it, at ts of my fingers and my toes. I raise my ly: Agnes! S fears to ans last, t up, lie still. trikes. tairs: tlemen are leaving to te chambers.
Per if I do, it is only for a moment. For suddenly I give a start, and am movement. Movement, and ligain t, and training against their frames.
ts mouthing.
t, after all, t is not like any oto it by a calling voice, I rise. I stand at to Agness room until I am sure, from t sake up my lamp and go, on naked feet, to my drao tand at t tio t I knoime I see not fall of a sill softer. tcilts tohe flame.
Ricless as I; and he lawns of Briar, perhaps hoping for sleep.
Cold tip of te, er tobacco. . to knoure; only te fades, gloe.
once I uand he windows.
ing o my room!—and e fall and crus of it bes see t. I only door ope of time, s breath.
I step back face: it arted bato to s! do it! to t my ear against tread. tread gro, anot for Mr ay to go to for t.
I take up my lamp and go quickly, quickly: ts of lig time to dress—ot dress, Ago kno not see googs, garters, slippers, a cloak. My is loose, I try to fasten; but I am clumsy beats quick again, but s against t is like a vessel beating t my o it, a—unlaced, it feels; unguarded, unsafe.
But tug of ter tany fear.
t is t of ter all. For restlessness. lengtapping at my door o once, You kno close. One cry will wake hing.
Do I suppose ry to kiss me? do t. ealto t ful so t w hear us? You are sure?
Do I teps close. But I feel t, still ging to . I smell tobac remember all. I move to one side of tand tensely, gripping t. to tween us, and speaks in whispers.
you. But I o Briar, after so muorroo leave seeing you. You uand me. I make no judgement on your receiving me like tirs, you are to say t you I found out your room and came, invitation. Ive been guilty of as mucs as once, onig of and me? I to e?
I say, I uand t you somet: t my motic; t my u is , anyone mig; ts . I am forbidden tet it. I am sorry for you, if you meant to profit by it.
I am sorry, o o remind you of it again. It means noto me, except as it o your ing to Briar and bei by your uncle in suc is ed from your motune.—Youll five my speaking plainly. I am a sort of villain, and knoher
villai. Your uncle is t kind, for o tell me you love is suit us. But for no a me speak leman to a lady?
ures and, after a sed—as if ea-tray—ake our places on tgown. urns he folds.
Noo tell you w I know, he says.
I kno from rey. t you—per you, as of some fabulous creature: t Briar, ering moo recite voluptuous texts fentlemen—pero do tell you all t. ts noto me. rey, at least, is a little kinder; and t, . old me, in a pitying sort of tle of your life—your unfortuations, tions attae in a . . . But rey une, and you are you are h, Miss Lilly?
I ate, t is several imes tliest book upon my uncles simes t. the only measure of value I know.
It is a great sum, says Mr Rivers, g my face.
I nod.
It shall be ours, he says, if we marry
I say nothing.
Let me be , o Briar, meaning to get
you in tune, perer. I saen minutes ood t to seduce you o insult you—to make you only a different kind of captive. I dont . I wiso free you.
You are very gallant, I say. Suppose I dont care to be freed?
.
turn my face—afraid t ting of blood, ay cray me to eady. I say, You fet, my longings t for not my uncles books long to leap from them—
Yes, yes, ience. You o me already. I t often. But, y-eigead I am too poor in pocket, but nor too easy in it t I s be scrambling to li for a little time to e. Do you t eac. Believe me: I ime t may be misspent, ging to fis and supposing truths.
ed o s back o age , and creased from tie. rand of grey. bulges queerly, as mens ts do: as if inviting t will crus.
I say, to e o fess yourself a villain, to suppose me o receive you.
A you ill. You called for your maid.
You intrigue me. You he evenness of my days here.
You seek a distra from t give t, in a moment! gone!—when you marry me.
I s be serious.
I am, however.
You kno you to take me.
ly. e s, of course, to devious methods.
You oo?
t look like t. Dont suppose I am joking. You dont kne. Not tion of a o a servitude, to la, t terms , t is not y. A liberty of a kind not often grao the members of your sex.
Yet to be ac laugh—by a marriage?
to be a unusual ditions. Again last t squeamis about t, as anot be? I suppose your maid is really sleeping, and not listening at the door?
I t say notch.
God en.
t a girl to Briar, from London, and install o use of t over-scrupulous, not too clever in sune—Say, t believe sion to ask for more. are a small set, as crooks go; ter all: for o wever s see a s. She will
suppose me an i, and believe ing in my sedu. S, inte o a—ates, before admitting t, take my place. Sest— as a form of lunacy; and so keep he closer.
And ory as your moter, your uncles niece— in s, all t marks you as yourself. t! t of your life, as a servant free your cloak; and you so any part of to any neo suit your fancy.
ty—ter liberty—o Briar to offer. For payment s my trust, my promise, my future silence; and one une.
not speaking, my face turned from a minute. I say at last is:
e s.
once: I think we will.
t us.
Sracted by t into rus ss to find t you, , in ?
And they look for her?
ted and robbed t her.
Fet her?
of mot. Sime. I dont trouble very she
turned out sion to be cared for, like ones. c her.
I gaze away from him. A madhouse . . .
I am sorry for t, your oation— your oation— as our crooked girls see , all to profit by it, o, for ever.
I still look a afraid of ir me, myself. I say, You speak as to you. Its the money you care for.
Ive admitted as muc? But t il our fortune is secure. You may trust yourself, till t to my , say, to my cupidity; side t out. I migeaco profit from it. e take some ely, of course, , ure only be silent, to t it. You uand me? Being onitted to t be true to eac speak lig o ture of t you from a kno;
My uncles care, I say, o sider any strategy t . But—
s and, to s my aim t your uncle o vieomorroo resider. But t t, as about everything.
he passes his hand again before his eyes, and again looks older.
truck terribly c, all at once. as fear, or doubt. last takes my o me; but is yours— man see you kept doo le and insulted by fello? t I for anotor: slemen your uncles for your uo die, and find a liberty t ime, remor, age? Say ty-five, or forty. You o ting of books, of a kind t rey sells, for a so drapers boys and clerks. Your fortus untouc of a bank. Your solation is to be mistress of Briar— is left to you, one by one.
As at at my o in its slipper. I times igo a form it longs to outgro quite still, to g to kno my future at Briar—for I , long ago, already cluded for myself; but by t t elling it at all—t ted, and travelled, forty miles—t olen o t of to my dark room, to me.
Of to o er, ears on my c s—I t all.
I say, tomorrohinks Rowlandson a hack.
t is all I say. It is enoug smile—I t like to see suc. my fingers and tands, straig. t breaks t of place. I , you very late. You must be cold, and tired.
gto groful. I s be troubled— too troubled—by all Ive said?
I s I am afraid to rise from tremble upon my legs ao him weak. I say, ill you go?
You are sure?
Quite sure. I ster if you leave me.
Of course.
o say more. I turn my fad let ime read upon t, tle opening and closing of t a moment, t my feet, tuck ts of my cloak about my legs, raise my y sofa cushion.
t my bed, and trait, my box, my maid—about me, t I like to tonig of tterns urbed. My liberty bes: gaugeless, fearful, iable as death.
I sleep, and dream I am moving, sly, in a , upon a dark and silent er.
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I suppose must be a bitter sort of smile. I say, Your question means not. My uen t must be added to too many lost books to be rediscovered; too muty. rey will
debate it for ever. Look at tends, once begin its supplements.
You mean to keep beside time?—I ansed as he?
I last. My skills are fee unon.
You are a lady, ly, and young, and speak from gallantry no. I say only rue. You mighing.
You are a man, I ansrut from ladies. I may do nothing, I assure you.
ates—perc— marry, is something.
, I some parc so . . .
I until urned from me agaiion captured. ts stand aly lift its cover. Look e, t is attaco all ?
te bears rangely, to resemble a p em of briar at t. Mr Rivers tilts o study it, and nods. I let the cover close.
Sometimes, I say, not looking up, I suppose suce must be pasted upon my oed, and noted and so I am speaking coolly, still. You said, tood. e are not meant for on usage, my felloe from t unguarded eyes. t o he world—some rid handsomely provided for, some shabby, some
injured, some broken about t t; for t ots—otors, I mean—cast out. I it—
No speak coolly. I aken by my oco take my uncles book very gently from its stand.
Your o mien of your time t? ont you sures t mark it as rare . . .?
ly; and artled me, like to be startled. I dont like to lose my place. But noo t I ot at for. I discover at last t I my o my breast. t I am breat t are all at once de seems bleeding into t, is pale as a leaf upon a swelling pool of darkness.
I s, for tlemen. But I suppose I range, fazes my way, smiling, e falls. Miss Lilly! akes my hand.
Mr is it? t.
Mr Rivers nohe pages.
t tlemen, curtseying at my uncle, a look of terror on is not yet ten oclock. I am perfectly not trouble. I am only tired, suddenly. I am sorry.
Sorry? Poorey. It is , and overtask your nieiserably.
I al, and ake your mistresss arm. Go steadily, now.
Sairs? Mr ands in to mount t I do not catch his eye.
me for some cool to put upon my face. I finally go to tel, and lean my c the looking-glass.
Your skirts, miss! says Agnes. She fire.
I feel queer, dislocated. t c sounds, I ter. I t kno, ands aill gathered in her hands.
trikes. I step back, t beats a little smoots me in my bed, unlooses tains—no mig, any at all. I ening my ains I to be taken y as she slumbers.
, I unlock my little rait. I y eyes. I t study your face!—but, o, I kno do it or lie sleepless and grow ill. I look o her, he said, and feel her madness in you?
Do I?
I put trait a me a tumbler of er. I take a drop of my old medie—t t ake anotill, my back. My o tingle. Agands and s. doe stuff of dress. One slender collar-bone is marked a delicate blue is
per mig remember—be a bruise.
I feel t last, sour in my stomach.
ts all, I say. Go on.
I o s. ter a little time t groan of mag its gears. I lie and for sleep. It does not e. Instead, my limbs groless and begin to tcoo of it, at ts of my fingers and my toes. I raise my ly: Agnes! S fears to ans last, t up, lie still. trikes. tairs: tlemen are leaving to te chambers.
Per if I do, it is only for a moment. For suddenly I give a start, and am movement. Movement, and ligain t, and training against their frames.
ts mouthing.
t, after all, t is not like any oto it by a calling voice, I rise. I stand at to Agness room until I am sure, from t sake up my lamp and go, on naked feet, to my drao tand at t tio t I knoime I see not fall of a sill softer. tcilts tohe flame.
Ricless as I; and he lawns of Briar, perhaps hoping for sleep.
Cold tip of te, er tobacco. . to knoure; only te fades, gloe.
once I uand he windows.
ing o my room!—and e fall and crus of it bes see t. I only door ope of time, s breath.
I step back face: it arted bato to s! do it! to t my ear against tread. tread gro, anot for Mr ay to go to for t.
I take up my lamp and go quickly, quickly: ts of lig time to dress—ot dress, Ago kno not see googs, garters, slippers, a cloak. My is loose, I try to fasten; but I am clumsy beats quick again, but s against t is like a vessel beating t my o it, a—unlaced, it feels; unguarded, unsafe.
But tug of ter tany fear.
t is t of ter all. For restlessness. lengtapping at my door o once, You kno close. One cry will wake hing.
Do I suppose ry to kiss me? do t. ealto t ful so t w hear us? You are sure?
Do I teps close. But I feel t, still ging to . I smell tobac remember all. I move to one side of tand tensely, gripping t. to tween us, and speaks in whispers.
you. But I o Briar, after so muorroo leave seeing you. You uand me. I make no judgement on your receiving me like tirs, you are to say t you I found out your room and came, invitation. Ive been guilty of as mucs as once, onig of and me? I to e?
I say, I uand t you somet: t my motic; t my u is , anyone mig; ts . I am forbidden tet it. I am sorry for you, if you meant to profit by it.
I am sorry, o o remind you of it again. It means noto me, except as it o your ing to Briar and bei by your uncle in suc is ed from your motune.—Youll five my speaking plainly. I am a sort of villain, and knoher
villai. Your uncle is t kind, for o tell me you love is suit us. But for no a me speak leman to a lady?
ures and, after a sed—as if ea-tray—ake our places on tgown. urns he folds.
Noo tell you w I know, he says.
I kno from rey. t you—per you, as of some fabulous creature: t Briar, ering moo recite voluptuous texts fentlemen—pero do tell you all t. ts noto me. rey, at least, is a little kinder; and t, . old me, in a pitying sort of tle of your life—your unfortuations, tions attae in a . . . But rey une, and you are you are h, Miss Lilly?
I ate, t is several imes tliest book upon my uncles simes t. the only measure of value I know.
It is a great sum, says Mr Rivers, g my face.
I nod.
It shall be ours, he says, if we marry
I say nothing.
Let me be , o Briar, meaning to get
you in tune, perer. I saen minutes ood t to seduce you o insult you—to make you only a different kind of captive. I dont . I wiso free you.
You are very gallant, I say. Suppose I dont care to be freed?
.
turn my face—afraid t ting of blood, ay cray me to eady. I say, You fet, my longings t for not my uncles books long to leap from them—
Yes, yes, ience. You o me already. I t often. But, y-eigead I am too poor in pocket, but nor too easy in it t I s be scrambling to li for a little time to e. Do you t eac. Believe me: I ime t may be misspent, ging to fis and supposing truths.
ed o s back o age , and creased from tie. rand of grey. bulges queerly, as mens ts do: as if inviting t will crus.
I say, to e o fess yourself a villain, to suppose me o receive you.
A you ill. You called for your maid.
You intrigue me. You he evenness of my days here.
You seek a distra from t give t, in a moment! gone!—when you marry me.
I s be serious.
I am, however.
You kno you to take me.
ly. e s, of course, to devious methods.
You oo?
t look like t. Dont suppose I am joking. You dont kne. Not tion of a o a servitude, to la, t terms , t is not y. A liberty of a kind not often grao the members of your sex.
Yet to be ac laugh—by a marriage?
to be a unusual ditions. Again last t squeamis about t, as anot be? I suppose your maid is really sleeping, and not listening at the door?
I t say notch.
God en.
t a girl to Briar, from London, and install o use of t over-scrupulous, not too clever in sune—Say, t believe sion to ask for more. are a small set, as crooks go; ter all: for o wever s see a s. She will
suppose me an i, and believe ing in my sedu. S, inte o a—ates, before admitting t, take my place. Sest— as a form of lunacy; and so keep he closer.
And ory as your moter, your uncles niece— in s, all t marks you as yourself. t! t of your life, as a servant free your cloak; and you so any part of to any neo suit your fancy.
ty—ter liberty—o Briar to offer. For payment s my trust, my promise, my future silence; and one une.
not speaking, my face turned from a minute. I say at last is:
e s.
once: I think we will.
t us.
Sracted by t into rus ss to find t you, , in ?
And they look for her?
ted and robbed t her.
Fet her?
of mot. Sime. I dont trouble very she
turned out sion to be cared for, like ones. c her.
I gaze away from him. A madhouse . . .
I am sorry for t, your oation— your oation— as our crooked girls see , all to profit by it, o, for ever.
I still look a afraid of ir me, myself. I say, You speak as to you. Its the money you care for.
Ive admitted as muc? But t il our fortune is secure. You may trust yourself, till t to my , say, to my cupidity; side t out. I migeaco profit from it. e take some ely, of course, , ure only be silent, to t it. You uand me? Being onitted to t be true to eac speak lig o ture of t you from a kno;
My uncles care, I say, o sider any strategy t . But—
s and, to s my aim t your uncle o vieomorroo resider. But t t, as about everything.
he passes his hand again before his eyes, and again looks older.
truck terribly c, all at once. as fear, or doubt. last takes my o me; but is yours— man see you kept doo le and insulted by fello? t I for anotor: slemen your uncles for your uo die, and find a liberty t ime, remor, age? Say ty-five, or forty. You o ting of books, of a kind t rey sells, for a so drapers boys and clerks. Your fortus untouc of a bank. Your solation is to be mistress of Briar— is left to you, one by one.
As at at my o in its slipper. I times igo a form it longs to outgro quite still, to g to kno my future at Briar—for I , long ago, already cluded for myself; but by t t elling it at all—t ted, and travelled, forty miles—t olen o t of to my dark room, to me.
Of to o er, ears on my c s—I t all.
I say, tomorrohinks Rowlandson a hack.
t is all I say. It is enoug smile—I t like to see suc. my fingers and tands, straig. t breaks t of place. I , you very late. You must be cold, and tired.
gto groful. I s be troubled— too troubled—by all Ive said?
I s I am afraid to rise from tremble upon my legs ao him weak. I say, ill you go?
You are sure?
Quite sure. I ster if you leave me.
Of course.
o say more. I turn my fad let ime read upon t, tle opening and closing of t a moment, t my feet, tuck ts of my cloak about my legs, raise my y sofa cushion.
t my bed, and trait, my box, my maid—about me, t I like to tonig of tterns urbed. My liberty bes: gaugeless, fearful, iable as death.
I sleep, and dream I am moving, sly, in a , upon a dark and silent er.
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